Homophobia in the Swedish idyll
Publicerat 19 Jan, 2006
”What we need is a heterosexual man in a leading position to say that homosexuality is OK,“ says social worker Hans Knutagård. He also declares that:
”You can’t be a racist or a homophobe if you believe in democracy.“
”Most of those I meet still don’t dare to come out at work and this silence is destructive,“ says psychologist Elisabet Nidsjö.
Both Hans and Elisabet work for the advisory service of the Swedish Federation for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Rights (RFSL) in Skåne.
The legislation covering discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation was tightened up a few years ago and we have been dazzled by recent pride festivals and parades, which is all well and good. But Elisabet Nidsjö sees a different side of the coin:
“Society is signalling "It’s OK to be homosexual", but reality says something else. The number of clients we have has not fallen.”
Around 1 000 people visit RFSL’s advisory service in Skåne for therapy each year and the service also receives 10 to 15 calls and e-mails per day.
Elisabet Nidsjö meets people who are subjected to insulting or offensive behaviour or who are discriminated against, or who, in order to avoid this, feel forced to hide who they live with and how they live when they are not working from their workmates.
“Many people wait to come out at work until they have reached a senior position,” she says. “Everyone knows that it is illegal and politically incorrect for an employer to say: "You cannot be a manger because you’re homosexual", but in practice a person’s sexual orientation can be a major stumbling block to their careers.”
“If people tell gay and lesbian jokes in the coffee room and make humiliating and insulting comments about "people like that", then it’s asking a lot of someone to come out in such an environment,” says Hans Knutagård. He tells us about a study visit he made to a police station in England:
“The really cracked down on offensive behaviour or comments there. Senior officers could say things like "Who gave you the right to humiliate people like that?" There should be a detailed plan at every workplace that underlines the importance of cracking down on every offensive "joke" or comment.”
Not everyone, however, has to listen to rude and offensive language around the coffee table at work every day, the message is often conveyed in much less obvious ways than this.
“There is a form of discrimination that is extremely subtle but still very strong,” says Hans Knutagård.
He talks about the tricks we use to dominate or belittle others, about how a look or particular tone of voice can be used to "rule the roost", how, as Albert Speer wrote, Adolf Hitler only needed to raise an eyebrow to get immediate obedience and how the social norm of a white man and a white woman on a caravan holiday together can still play such a strong and tacitly dominating role.
“When did you last see a same-sex couple in an advert?” says Elisabet Nidsjö. “It would be important to a lot of people to see something like that. The lack of such signals in itself contributes to discrimination.”
She talks about the belief that only heterosexuals can control their sexual urges, in contrast to the “oversexed” gays and lesbians. No one wants to share a room with someone who is openly, or suspected of being, homosexual or bisexual when the company goes on a conference, never mind having them in the same sauna or changing room. She also talks about how heterosexual couples can kiss and hug each other in public without being regarded as sex fiends.
“There is nothing more sexual that a man and a woman walking around with a pram, is there? Everyone knows that they have had sex, but is this the first thought we have about them?”
“People may not at all relate the problems they have at work to their sexuality,” says Elisabet. They may have stomach aches or neck and back pains, or they may just feel generally depressed.
Workmates, managers and policy documents may say one thing: "Being anything other than heterosexual is OK", but in actual fact people say one thing and mean another and there is discrimination. The non-heterosexuals are compartmentalised.
People register something and it becomes a full stop instead of a starting point. "Ah, homosexual! That means that you are like this and like this." And then they don’t see the individual any more.”
Elisabet Nidsjö believes that remaining silent and trying to hide your true self is the most damaging thing for the individual.
“I have never met anyone who has regretted coming out, even if it was difficult for them at the time. The fact that they can now be themselves has made it all worthwhile.”
“You can’t be a racist or a homophobe if you believe in democracy,” says Hans Knutagård. “Racism and homophobia conflict with every notion and concept of equality and equal rights.”
He feels that if a person is discriminated against or harassed because of a disability or their sexual orientation, or for whatever reason, then this in itself represents an attack on democratic values. Democracy is a fundamental principle that covers everyone in society and it is therefore not possible to make a distinction between one group and another.
“We really need to educate everyone regarding democracy and discrimination,” says Hans. “We have to dare to confront "native Swedes" as well as "immigrants" who have prejudices and homophobic ideas. This is not racism. On the contrary, we must argue our case with everyone. If we don’t do this we will only add to the oppression ourselves.”
| Marie Eriksson marie@stockholmskulturbyra.se |
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